How God Deals with a Gaslighter: Lessons from Scripture
Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic that has become increasingly recognized in today’s conversations around toxic relationships. It’s a form of emotional abuse that causes victims to doubt their own perceptions, making them reliant on the manipulator’s version of reality. But gaslighting is not a new phenomenon; in fact, it has existed for centuries. One of the earliest examples can be found in the Bible.
In this article, we’ll explore the biblical example of King Saul, a notorious gaslighter, and how God dealt with him. This story can provide hope and encouragement, especially for those grappling with the effects of gaslighting in their own lives. Let’s dive into what gaslighting is, why it’s so dangerous, and how God views and deals with this behavior.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where someone distorts reality to gain power and control over another person. The term originated from the 1944 film *Gaslight*, but the behavior has been around since the beginning of time. A gaslighter seeks to make you question your own judgments, making you dependent on them to define what is true or real.
Gaslighting is a favorite tool of narcissists because it enables them to maintain control over their victims. By distorting facts, twisting conversations, and denying reality, they make the victim believe they are the problem. Over time, this erodes the victim’s confidence and self-trust.
Why Do People Gaslight?
People gaslight for power and control. Narcissists, in particular, use gaslighting as a way to make others dependent on them. The more you doubt your own perceptions, the more you turn to them for validation. In relationships, gaslighting can make the victim feel like they are going crazy, often leading them to think they are the source of the problem.
Gaslighting can be both intentional and unconscious. Some people are calculated in their manipulation, while others may have learned the behavior in childhood and do it instinctively. Either way, gaslighting is destructive and damaging. It isolates the victim from reality and others, deepening the emotional abuse.
The Subtle Dangers of Gaslighting
Gaslighting is particularly dangerous because it is often subtle. The gaslighter may appear charming and friendly in public, winning admiration from others, but their true nature is revealed in private. This discrepancy creates confusion and isolation for the victim. Since the gaslighter appears so wonderful to everyone else, the victim starts to believe that they are the problem.
The gaslighter uses this tactic to control how others view them, creating a false public persona. Meanwhile, in private, they abuse their victims emotionally, making it harder for the victim to convince others of the abuse they’re experiencing. This isolation makes the victim question their own reality, which is exactly what the gaslighter wants.
Biblical Example of Gaslighting: King Saul
One of the most prominent examples of gaslighting in the Bible is found in the story of King Saul, who tried to manipulate even God’s prophet, Samuel. In 1 Samuel 15, God gave Saul a clear command: destroy everything belonging to the Amalekites, including their people and livestock. However, Saul chose to spare their king and the best of the animals.
When Samuel confronted him, Saul attempted to gaslight Samuel by insisting that he had obeyed God’s command. He even built a monument to himself, acting as though he had been victorious in his mission. Saul’s reality was distorted, as he genuinely believed—or at least convinced himself—that he had done nothing wrong. This is classic gaslighting: creating a false narrative to avoid accountability.
God’s Response to Saul’s Gaslighting
God saw right through Saul’s manipulation. He told Samuel, “I regret that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instructions.” Despite Saul’s attempt to distort reality, God knew the truth. When Samuel confronted Saul, Saul deflected responsibility by blaming the soldiers for keeping the animals. He twisted the story to make it seem like he had good intentions, even though he was clearly disobedient.
This form of manipulation was not lost on God. In response, Samuel delivered a powerful rebuke, calling Saul’s behavior rebellious and arrogant. Saul’s outward appearance of obedience was hollow because his heart was far from God. He cared more about his image and the opinions of the people than about truly following God’s will.
Lessons for Dealing with Gaslighters
From Saul’s story, we can learn several important lessons about how God deals with gaslighting:
1. God Sees Through Manipulation
No matter how convincing a gaslighter may be, God sees through the lies. Gaslighters may manipulate others to believe their version of reality, but God operates from a place of truth. His reality is the ultimate reality, and no amount of distortion can change that. This is a comforting truth for anyone who has been manipulated by a gaslighter.
2. Accountability Comes Eventually
Saul’s downfall serves as a reminder that gaslighting and manipulation do not go unnoticed forever. God holds people accountable for their actions, especially when they distort the truth to serve their own purposes. For those suffering under the control of a gaslighter, take heart in knowing that God is just, and He will deal with the situation in His time.
3. Pride Leads to Destruction
At the heart of gaslighting is pride—just as it was with Saul. Narcissists believe they are above others, entitled to control, and superior in their judgments. This pride ultimately leads to their downfall. The Bible warns that pride comes before destruction, and Saul’s story is a prime example. Gaslighters may seem powerful for a time, but their pride will be their undoing.
Conclusion: Trusting God’s Judgment
Gaslighting can make you feel isolated, confused, and defeated. But know this: God is not deceived. He sees the truth, even when others cannot. Like Saul, the gaslighters in your life will eventually face the consequences of their actions. Your role is to trust in God’s timing and maintain your grounding in the truth He has revealed to you.
If you’ve experienced gaslighting, you are not alone, and God is with you through the healing process. Someone else who has gone through a similar situation has inspired me, and I encourage you to visit their video for further insights: How God DEALS with a Gaslighter.